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Thanksgiving Drinking Game

November 21, 2018

Thanksgiving, a controlled chaos that is as reckless as it is nurturing. There’s fulfillment in the suffering. Beauty in the breakdown. Can’t see it? Have you tried alcohol? The Official Thanksgiving 2018 Drinking Guide

Reminder: Hold you and your loved ones accountable for adhering to the rules of the game. If not, you’re only cheating yourself. 

ONE DRINK

-Any time a relative over the age of 50 tries to show you something on their phone but can’t figure it out.

-Any time a female implores that you change the television channel from football. (“Let’s watch something we can all watch!” “Let’s not.”)

-Any time someone uses the phrase “Kid’s Table.”

-Any time someone calls you by your full name (Matthew, Michael, Patrick…).

-Any time someone talks with food in their mouth. (x2 if they accidentally spit food out)

-Any time the NFL broadcast shows something Thanksgiving-related (turkey, Food Bank footage, etc.)

TWO DRINKS

-Any time someone falls asleep post-dinner. *(x2 if they are audibly snoring)*

-Any time a relative refers to how crazy your particular family is (“We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional!”)

-Any time someone suggests playing Cards Against Humanity 

-Any time someone asks you if you’ve seen the play Hamilton.

THREE DRINKS

-Any time someone falls asleep pre-dinner. (x2 if they are audibly snoring)*

-Any time someone unbuckles their belt after gorging

-For every piece of Tupperware a guest brings for leftovers.

-Any time a relative gives a broad, ignorant solution to a complex political problem.

-Any time a Neil Young song comes on.

SHOTGUN A BEER

-For every vegetarian in attendance.